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Post by Julie:) on Oct 24, 2006 22:17:32 GMT 1
Dette er en nyere utgave (tehe) av Why do we live when we are going to die? eller no. Den er skrevet ferdig. Er i alt 23 parts. Enjoy.
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Post by Julie:) on Oct 24, 2006 22:18:00 GMT 1
Chapter 1
I sat in my room looking at the picture. The picture of my family… Like it used to be before. First there was my mom. She was the best mom in the whole world! She had been supporting me my whole life. I loved her so much. In the picture my dad sat next to my mom, they looked so happy! Then there was my big brother and best friend, Danny. Even though he was my brother, he has always been my best friend. I mean, of course we were fighting like brothers and sisters use to do, but it all changed one year that I’m going to tell you about later. So I sat in my room staring at the picture. I had tears in my eyes… Just to see how happy we used to be before, and now… It started when I was about 8 or 9 years old. Danny was 11 or 12. I had woken up from my sleep one night, and I heard my mom screaming. I got really scared, and I decided to go and wake up Danny. We went down, holding hands, to see what was happening. “Oh, no...!" Danny screamed. I started crying. “Why is he doing that to mom?” I asked. “He’s drunk…again…” Danny said with tears in his eyes. I stood there, watching my dad … and he was hitting my mom. I couldn’t believe what was just happening in front of my eyes. I couldn’t move… I just stood there, and held Danny’s hand. Suddenly mom saw us. “Oh my God! Go away kids… run!!” she screamed. “No!” I yelled. I couldn’t just leave mom. “Ah… You dirty little B***H!” I heard my dad scream at my mom as he was hitting her very badly. There was blood on the floor. I cried even more. Danny gave me a big hug. “Come on we’re going…” he said. “ No…” I cried, “We can’t leave her, Danny, we can’t leave her!!” Danny dragged me up to my room, there were no other places we could go. Danny got his guitar and started playing a song for me, he was singing too. I used to love listening to him, he was so good. The tears were streaming down my face, and I couldn’t stop thinking about mom. But Danny never stopped playing. He played and sang, so I could fall asleep, and I did, then he stopped. My dad was put in prison some days after that night. I have lived with my mom and my brother, Danny, since. Mom has been supporting me all the way through school and everything. Whenever I had a bad day, she would always help me through it. And whenever something was wrong she would always comfort me and say that everything was gonna be ok. And Danny… He was the best brother you could ever get! He had helped me as well. When mom was away, at work or something, he was always there. He had been there for me whenever I needed him. We’d been laughing together, talking together, and crying together. Mom, Danny and I. I kind of missed dad, but I knew that he was still drinking and did drugs, so I was actually happy without him. I loved mom and Danny more than anything! I don’t know what I would do if something happened to one of them… “Alexandra!?” I heard someone shout from downstairs. It was my mum. I went downstairs. “Where are you?” I asked, cause I couldn’t see her. “In the kitchen…” Mom said. I walked into the kitchen, I tried to hide that I had been crying but my mom knew me to well. “Come here, hun!” she said and pulled me into a hug. She knew why I was crying. It was seven years since my dad was put in prison, that day, and she knew it was hard for me. It was hard for her too. Danny came into the room and sat down at the kitchen table. It was silent. “I just want you guys to know that I really love you both!” Danny said, after a while, with tears in his eyes. “Oh, Danny boy…” My mom started to say “I love you too, you know, that…don’t you?!” She asked Danny. I was just standing there and wiped the tears from my eyes. We were sitting at the kitchen table, talking for an hour or something…about dad. After that, I went straight up to my room and sat down on my bed, staring at the picture again. Then I heard a knock on my door. “Come in!” I said. The door opened, and Danny came into my room. “Hey…” he said. “Heya, “I said back. “I’m going to bed now…just wanted you to know, “he said smiling. “Okies, Ratleg, “I said laughing. He came to me and bent down and kissed my forehead. “Night, Al, sleep well, and then I’ll see you tomorrow!” he said and smiled. “Yeah… see you tomorrow…”I said… “..Oh, and Danny?” “Yeh, hun!?”He asked curiously. “I love you too” I said smiling. “Aww… Come here and give me a hug!” He came to me and gave me a big hug…a Danny hug. They were always good to get if you felt down. When he was out of my room, I just went to bed and fell asleep, not knowing that tomorrow was going to be the worst day of my life…
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Post by Julie:) on Oct 24, 2006 22:18:57 GMT 1
SINCE Im NICE YOU'LL GET TWO IN A ROW. Chapter 2
I was at school. I had math class with Mrs. Anderson. It was so boring; I’ve never been good at maths, so I hated it. All the numbers she was writing on the blackboard… what did they mean? Outside it was raining very badly. I was still wet since I had walked to school. Everyone in the class was just sitting there doing nothing. I looked at my best friend, Chrissie. She liked math, so she thought this was fun. Suddenly we heard a knock on the door. Everyone turned their heads to the door. This was exiting! “Come in…” Mrs. Anderson said with a hoarse voice. The door opened. It was Danny…I could tell he had been crying. Everyone was looking at him. Oh my god… “Good morning, Mrs. Anderson…Can I please, talk to Alex?” Danny said with a weak voice. “Yes, I suppose…”Mrs. Anderson said, and then I jumped up from my chair and hurried out to Danny. When we got out and shot the door behind us, Danny just broke down into my arms and cried. I got scared. “Danny, what’s wrong!??” I asked. This wasn’t like him. He didn’t answer… he just cried even more. “Danny!?” I was really scared now… what was wrong with him? “Da...” he interrupted me “M…o…Mom…” He sobbed. Oh no! Mom? Why was he crying? “Danny…What’s going on?” I had tears in my eyes… “She’s okay, right!?” I was hysterical. “Danny!? Talk to me, PLEASE!!” I screamed. I was so scared. I was crying now… Danny too… He sobbed. “Mom…Mom is dead!” Danny managed to say, through all his crying and sobbing. “WHAT!?” I couldn’t believe what he just said. “You heard me… She’s dead!” Danny cried. I broke down in tears. Why...why?! We were standing in the middle of the school and cried in each others arms… People started to gather around. I didn’t care… My mom had just died, I didn’t know how, and I didn’t know where she was now. Suddenly, Danny took my hand, and dragged me outside where we could be alone. We were both still crying, but Danny had calmed down a little. “She died in…a car crash…and she’s at the hospital now…” He managed to say. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. Why did this happen to me? Why me? Did I deserve this? What had I done to deserve this s**t? I broke down into Danny’s arms, and cried, while the rain was pouring down around us.
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Post by Kristin( : on Oct 25, 2006 18:01:00 GMT 1
I need more ;D
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Post by Cydonia on Oct 25, 2006 18:16:57 GMT 1
;D ;D Meeer ;D legg ut hele
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Post by Julie:) on Oct 25, 2006 22:15:28 GMT 1
Chapter 3
Danny and I had just got home from the hospital. I had seen the worst sight of my whole life. Mom lying there in a bed… Blood and bruises were all over her face and body! The nurses hadn’t washed her yet, so she looked awful. I couldn’t believe that it was my mom lying there…dead. I hadn’t said a thing to Danny when we were there. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t talk. I was speechless. I was just empty inside my head, I couldn’t think clearly. Danny had probably felt the same, since he didn’t say anything either. Now, we didn’t have anyone to look after us. Okay, so Danny was old enough to take care of me on his own (and I could take care of myself), but still it wasn’t the same. What were we going to do? Now that she was gone, I have no reason for living. Of course I loved my friends and Danny…but my mom… she’d been there my whole life, and now she was just gone. I wondered what my dad was up to. Did he know that mom was dead? Of course not… He was probably drunk, as always. I sat in the living room, on the sofa, and just starred at the wall. Danny walked into the room. I didn’t face him, I was in my own world. He sat down next to me, and suddenly I heard that he was crying. I wanted to cry with him, but my tears were hiding someplace inside my eyes, I was just sitting there, and closed my eyes. “Al?” Danny whispered. I looked at him. “Yeh…”I just said. “ I don’t know what to do..!” He started; he just looked in the air… “I mean… Are we just going to live like everything was okay?” now, he looked at me. I didn’t know what to say… I felt my tears were begging to come out of my eyes, and just express my feelings. I was so tired, and I just wanted to get some sleep and when I woke up, everything was like it used to be. “HELLO!?” Danny shouted. He seemed really mad. I started to cry…for no reason. “I’m sorry, Alex…I’m so sorry!” Danny said and gave me a hug that could last forever. We were both crying, and comforting each other in each others arms… I hated this… my life and everything…was so crap!
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Post by Julie:) on Oct 25, 2006 22:16:38 GMT 1
Chapter 4
It was two weeks since my mom had died, and yesterday was my first day at school since that. It was alright, I guess… Everyone was really nice and all that, but just to know the fact that mom wouldn’t be home when I got home, just killed me. All our friends had been really supportive and I really appreciated that. Today was the day of her funeral, and I didn’t know what to expect of the day. I had been so down lately, but all my friends were helping me through this hard time, and Danny and I had been helping each other. Danny was in a band that was really popular in our school and it was called McFly. He played with three of his best friends, Dougie, Tom and Harry. Danny played the guitar and had the lead vocals together with Tom, Dougie was on the bass, and Harry played the drums. I knew all of them really well, but I’ve always had a kind of crush on Harry. Danny is the only person who knows that, and he promised not to tell Harry or anyone else. They were going to play at the funeral, which was very sweet of them I thought. I didn’t know what they were going to play, but I just had to wait and see. We all sat in the church, and mom lied there in front of everyone, in her coffin. I thought it was disgusting. The priest was talking, but I didn’t really listen to what he was saying. He just said nice things about my mom, I guess… things that I already knew. I just sat there, and thought about everything, but then I heard the priest said something about McFly, so I started to focus on what was happening. Danny got up to the priest with Dougie, Tom and Harry right behind him. Danny took a microphone and started talking in it: “Uhm… Hi everyone …” he said, he had been crying a lot, and I could tell that he didn’t really know what to say. “My mom was our biggest fan and I really loved her…I still do, so… These songs go out to her. And mom, I hope you hear this!” he said. Everyone had tears in their eyes, or cried… Even the priest fought back his tears, I could tell. They started playing a new song that Tom had written, called She Falls Asleep. That was a really sad song. Usually, Tom is singing the whole song, but today Danny was. When he was finished, everyone clapped their hands while they were crying. I didn’t cry… I didn’t have any tears left to cry out… I felt so empty. “Thank you…” Danny said and tried to smile, but it was a fake smile. “Ok…so my mom was a really big fan of Eric Clapton…and now I’m gonna play you a song, called Tears in Heaven. Hope you like it, mom!” He said and took his acoustic guitar and started to play. His band mates sat behind him and remained silent like everybody else. Danny was now singing and playing all alone. “Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?”He sang and that was it for me… Now I cried…I don’t know where all my tears came from, but I sure did cry. It was so sad, and Danny tried not to look at me, because then he would just start to cry too and… This was one of the saddest things that had ever happened in my life. I could feel my mascara running down my face, but I didn’t care… at all. When the song was finished, everybody in the church was crying… I couldn’t see a person that was not crying. The priest was crying, Dougie, Tom and Harry were crying, and now even Danny. Oh my God… I hated this. “Ok… I’ve got one last song…” Danny wiped his tears before continuing. “I wrote this song yesterday…just for you, mom… So, I hope you all like it…especially you, mom. It’s called My Angel…” He said, I cried even more. Danny had to stop in the middle of the song because he started to cry. After two minutes, he had calmed down and started singing again. When the song was finished, everyone in the church stood up and clapped for Danny. I stood up as well, wiped my tears and clapped. Danny’s eyes were red and he cried. “Thank you everybody!” He said. “And thank you mom for being there in my life when I needed you, and thank you for teaching me how to look after people. Now, it’s just me and Alexandra left, and I promise to look carefully after her, because I know how much you loved her.” He wiped his tears, and I cried like a waterfall. “And I just want to thank all you guys who are here today, it means a lot to me and Al, and I know that mom appreciate it too… So, thank you!” He waved, and went down, and sat down next to me. He burst into tears and I pulled him into a hug. “I know…” I said. “I know…”
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Post by Julie:) on Oct 25, 2006 22:17:02 GMT 1
Chapter 5
After the funeral, we went home to our house. I had said my final “Good bye” to mum before I saw her disappear down in the grown. Now, it was just me and Danny who lived there. Tom, Harry and Dougie followed us home. I didn’t talk to any of them on the car trip home. Tom was driving, Danny sat in the front seat, and I sat in the back seat in the middle of Dougie and Harry. Usually, I would go bright red, since I sat next to Harry… but now I didn’t really care. It was silence in the car… No one said anything. But I could hear Danny crying. I had got headache of all the crying and I just wanted to sleep. We arrived in front of our house after 15 minutes of silence. “Do you want us to stay with you tonight?” Tom asked. Danny looked back at me. “Is it alright for you?” He asked weakly. “Yeah, sure…”I said after a while. Everyone got out of the car. “Are you coming, Al? Harry asked me, I was just sitting there. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and got out of the car. I walked pass Harry as he just stood beside the car and looked at me. I didn’t look at him, but I knew that he was looking at me. “Alexy?” He said. I turned around. He came right over to me and gave me a big hug. I couldn’t believe it! The boy of my dreams… was actually hugging me. I wasn’t quite sure of what I felt that moment. I was sad because of mom, but I was kind of exited too. “Thanks…” I said and pulled away from the hug. “Any time, hun” He said and tried to smile. What did he just call me? Hun? Oh my God…This had to be a dream. Mom wasn’t dead… She was still alive?! And Harry did never say “hun” to me, right? No…this was reality. We got inside our house and I walked passed the living room to see Danny sitting in sofa together with Doug and Tom. I just walked straight up to my room. I heard someone was following me. “Harry, just leave her alone!” I heard Danny shout, and then I heard the person walk away from me. I got to bed and soon I was asleep.
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Post by Kristin( : on Oct 26, 2006 16:00:36 GMT 1
baaah, now you got me addicted!
I need more and i need it fast ;D
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Post by Cydonia on Oct 27, 2006 20:31:58 GMT 1
ooooo ;D
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Post by Julie:) on Oct 28, 2006 0:14:34 GMT 1
Chapter 6
I woke up the next day, it was Saturday. I looked at my watch… It was 5 in the evening! It wasn’t every day I slept till 5. Oh well… I decided to go downstairs and see what Danny was up to, if he was home. “Oh, hi Alex!” ok, so he was home. He walked over to me and hugged me. “Heya…” I said as I hugged him back. He pulled away from the hug and just starred at me. “What?” I asked him with a strange look. “How are you feeling? He asked curiously. “Well… I’m better… thanks. What about you?” I asked him back. “I’m good thanks… But, Al… I gotta say… I hate to see you like this!” He looked me right in the eyes. I sighed. “Danny, you know…I hate to feel like this, too, I don’t want to be like this, but I can’t help it. My mom just died, and off course I’m not happy about it. It looks like you are not too good, yourself” I said to him quite annoyed. “I know…” He said. “And by the way, I’m feeling better now anyway, and our lives have to move on.” “I know…” He said again. I didn’t mean that I was just going to forget mom, but our lives had to move on. We couldn’t go on like this forever. But off course I missed her! “Where are the others?” I asked Danny after a while. “Who…?”He asked. “Uhm… I thought your friends were going to sleep here? “Yer, they did, but the clock is 5.30pm, so it’s been a while since they left!” He said and looked at me as if I was stupid. “Ah… I see…I’m going up to my room, now.” I said to him. “Ok…” He said.
I decided to lay down on my bed and just rest. As I was just about to fall asleep my phone rang. “OH mother fcuker!” I jumped. “Hello?” I answered. “Hey, Al, it’s me!” It was Harry, Danny’s band mate. SPAZZ. ”Heya” I said and found myself grinning. “How are you??” “I’m…fine thanks. How about you?” I asked excitedly and got up from my bed. “Great thank you!” Harry answered gladly. “Glad to hear.” I said while I fixed my hair in the mirror. “ Uhm… Do you have any plans for tonight?” Harry asked after an awkward silence. “No, not that I know bout, why?” “I was just wondering… if you wanna come over at my house tonight? … I understand if you want be home instead, but its just if you want!” Oh My God! Harry Judd just asked me if I wanted to come over at his place! Tonight! What should I say? “I understand if you don’t want to…” Harry suddenly spoke. “No, of course, I’ll come!” I said happily. “Really?” He asked surprised. “Sure!” “Thank you! Can you come… at 8?” He asked. “Yep, I’ll be there!” I replied still smiling widely. “Ah…brill! I got to go and help my mum with something now, sorry!” Harry said with disappointment in his voice. “Oh, ok… see you at 8, then!” I replied. “Yeah! Can’t wait! Bye.” “Bye bye…” I said and hung up. OMG! I closed my eyes and smiled to myself. It didn’t last long cause my phone went off again.
Chapter 6 continued.
“Hello.” I spoke “Hey Al!” It was my best friend, Chrissie. “Hi, Chrissie!” “How are you feeling today?” She asked sympathetically. “I’m feeling better thanks… I miss her, though…You?” “Aww…hun, of course you miss her… I’m good thanks” She answered. “Good! Guess where I’m going tonight!?” I asked excited. “Uhm…dunno… where?” She replied confused. “I’m going over to Harry’s house! Just me, all by myself!” I grinned. “OH! Alex, that’s great! Is it a date?” “I don’t know, really…don’t think so…” I mumbled. “…but I gotta go now. Bye!” I suddenly said. “Ok, Bye hun!! Good luck tonight!!” She said thrilled. “Thanks, darling!” I said and hung up.
Was it a date? I wasn’t sure. I wondered what we were going to do!? I tried to act that I was fine, but inside me, it was a total craphole. I missed mum very much, but I was going to act like everything was fine…
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Post by Julie:) on Oct 28, 2006 0:16:34 GMT 1
Chapter 7
The clock was 8 and I stood in front of Harry’s front door. Maybe I should just walk away, and don’t show up? He’ll sure understand… No! Al, you’re at his house now, you can’t just walk away! I rang the door bell. I heard steps coming from the stairs. The door opened, and I saw a happy face. “Oh, hi!” Harry said and gave me a hug with his warm and comfy drum-arms. “Hey…!” I said and hugged him back. “How are you?” He asked and looked at me with a ‘I know- how- your -feelin’ look. “Well…it’s hard, you know, but I’ll survive…”I said looking at him. I could see that he had tears in his eyes. Oh please, don’t cry now, Harry… it wouldn’t make things any better. “I understand…” He said. “I want you to know that I’m here for you, no matter what!” He said and smiled, with his white, strait teeth. “Aww…thank you!” I said and smiled back… “So… Nice of you to invite me!” I said, I didn’t really know what to say, but I didn’t wanna talk about mom, so I just said something, and I soon regretted. “Hehe… Yeah, it would be nice to spend some more time with you!” He said and laughed a little. I laughed too and looked around in his house. It was very nice and cosy. A bit posh too, but that family was like that, Danny had told me. We sat and talked the whole time I was there. We talked about everything. I actually knew him quite well, but I was seeing another side of him, this night. I was having a really good time. I needed that, as well. I started to like him even better, but I wasn’t sure about his feelings… It was 01.00am, and I was about to go home. “I’ve had a really good time, tonight!” I said and tried to put on my jacket. “You need some help??” Harry asked and laughed. He helped me to put my jacket on. “Hehe… Thanks!” I said. We both started to laugh. “Do you want me to follow you home?” He asked me. It took about 30 minutes to walk to my house. “Uhm… If you want?” I said and raised my eyebrows. “Sure!” He said. He put his jacket on as well as a cap, it was pretty cold outside. We walked next to each other, and it was very dark outside. “Alex… I hope this isn’t too unexpected, but… do you wanna go out sometime? …on a date?” Harry asked after a while. I couldn’t believe this! My life changed all the time, at some time I was really sad, and then I was happy. Off course I would go out with Harry! It had been my dream for the past two years. “I’d love to!” I told him with a smile. He smiled, too. “Great!” he said and looked me in the eyes. It felt like forever. We had stopped in the middle of the road and just looked each other in the eyes. He smiled. I smiled too. Suddenly he came closer. I could feel his breath. What was happening now? He planted his lips on mine, but I soon pulled away. “Ehm… I’m so sorry!” I said. “But I need some more time…” I wasn’t ready…
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Post by Cydonia on Oct 28, 2006 15:08:21 GMT 1
;D
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Post by Kristin( : on Oct 28, 2006 18:10:57 GMT 1
MOooooOoooOre ;D
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Post by Julie:) on Oct 30, 2006 18:25:53 GMT 1
Chapter 8
Why wasn’t I ready? I had been ready for two years now, and when it finally happens I pull away… Harry looked at me, he looked a bit hurt, but then he smiled. “It’s ok, hun! I understand…!” He said and looked at me. “Thanks,” I said and smiled to him. I wondered why he did it, really. Kissed me, I mean. We weren’t officially dating; we hadn’t been on our first date yet, so why did he kiss me? “Just take your time…” he said. “You’ll be ready when you’re ready!” He smiled and wrapped his arm around me, and then we continued walking. I guess that was ok, but kissing, was going a bit too fast. We got in front of my house. I started to feel tired. “Good night, then!” Harry said and gave me a hug, it was warm. “Yeah… Good night, and thanks for tonight!” I said, I felt kind of sorry for him since of what I had done. “You know…I can ask Danny if he’ll drive you home?” “ Noo! You don’t need to do that, I’m fine!” He said seriously. I looked at him. “Really! I’m alright! Night, hun!” He said and gave me another hug “Night!” I said, and then I walked inside. I stood in the hall and took off my jacket. “Where the h*ll have you been?” It was Danny, he shouted. I could tell he was drunk. He came to me and stood beside me and reeled. “At Harry’s” I told him. Danny stood in his boxers with a tie round his head. He looked stupid and crazy. “Ooooh! My sister and my best friend are f***ing each other!! WHoooo!” He screamed out very loudly. “Danny, please! We are not!!” I told him. Danny was really annoying when he was drunk. I didn’t know how much he had drank that night, but he was pretty drunk. “Anyway, where have you been?” I asked him. Now, he was jumping and dancing around the house. He seemed very hyper. Oh my god, I thought. “I have…I have…Been farting and burping!” He said and laughed his but off. He acted like a little child. This was ridiculous! He never used to act like this when he was drunk. “Ehe…” I said and gave him a weird look. “That was NOT a real laugh, Alexandra!” Danny shouted. “I think you are going to bed, now, Danny…!” I said to him and took his hand. “NO!” He was pretty angry. Fine, I thought. I just walked away, and up to the bathroom, I was tired and I wanted to go to bed. I brushed my teeth and removed my make-up and did everything I needed to do, and then I went out of the bathroom. I found Danny lying on the floor outside my room. His eyes were shot. “Oh, no!” I screamed. “What?” Danny said sleepily. I began to laugh…he looked so stupid! He laid there…on the floor…in his boxers, with a tie around his head. I tried to carry him to his room with not much luck, but he tried to walk, so it went ok. I sat next to his bed and stroked his hair. “I love you!” I whispered, and then I turned to walk out. “Al?” Danny whispered. “Yeah, Dan?” I answered. “Do you like Harry?” He asked, I wasn’t expecting that question from him at that moment. “I’ll tell you tomorrow…Night!” I said and walked out of his room.
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