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Post by mattass on Apr 17, 2006 10:38:40 GMT 1
I gazed down on the ground and smiled. This would be over in just a few minutes. I looked out of the city that was embraced under me with the bright lights shining over me. This world wouldnt be lost without me so why not end it. A door slammed open i looked behind me. “God..” Said the blonde guy as he reached the roof part where i stood. He was crying. As he looked up i gawked. It was James Bourne. “What are you doing girl?” He asked and rushed over. “Ending my life..” “Why?” He asked. Looking at me. “I dont intend to pour my fucked up life out to a superstar whos trying to prevent some crazy emo chick from killing herself” “Well maybe not the superstar James.. but the everyday life James bourne then... “ "Why?" I asked. "Look.. I might seem like that... airhead famouse money loving dude with a funny attitude... but.. Airhead, funny attitude is true. Thats me. And I hate seeing such a beautiful girl putting her life away like this. Come down from that and tell me whats going on. Okey?" He asked. "No.." I mumbled. "Yes, come on, I`ll tell Steve to moon his arse for you.." James said with a grin. I must admit it seemed like a pretty good deal. He stepped forward and put out a hand to help me down, i took it and smiled. Putting one foot around i tried to step down but i fell over and hung out of the roof. James bent over and took my other hand. "Hold on..." He said and his face turned red. I pressed my hands against James`, funny how you are afraid to die when you hang out of a roof like now and minutes before you wish you would be doing it. The reality is just so mind breaking when it actually happens. "Dont let go.." He said and I could hear him press his legs towards the brick wall and lightly and slowly pull me up. When i reached the edge I took a good grib and managed to fall on James when i landed on the floor part of the roof. I looked into his eyes and smiled, he was so cute when he smiled. It is just so damn hot in photos of him. But when you... like me are on top of him and see it for yourself. Its amazing. "Sorry.." I groaned and got off him. "No... Dont worry about it... Now... How about... We go shop some alcohol and food then we go to the beach... Ive got time for a long story and im in the mood to get drunk.." He said and I nodded. Reaching the store he went in and I waited in his car. I was humming along to the radio when some light cleared out in the car, looking for the source I saw his phone ringing.... Taking it up I saw a familiar name. It said Dave. "Shit...." I said. Maybe it was important.
- He-Hello. I stuttered. - Hi. Who`s this? Asked Dave. God how i missed that voice. - Tara. - Tara? - Tara Goldbert. - Oh shit. How did you get James`s phone? - He is at the store buying alcohol. Im gonna pour my heart out to him. - What the hell are you talking about? - Nothing that you have to know of. You dont care anymore so. - Look.... Im sorry i left like that last year. But I was following my dream... - Mhm. And you left me pregnant. - I did what? - I was pregnant when you left. - Did you have the kid? - Yeah. But she got adoptet. - She? A Daughter? - Yes. You have a daughter. Got to go... James is coming...
I quickly ended the conversation and put it down again. "Did someone call?" Asked James and gave me the bag. "Yeah... Traitor Dave..." I mumbled under my breath. "Say what?" He asked looking a little puzzled. "Dave called..." "Oh.." We drove to the beach and sat down. James told me first that his girlfriend had ended it off with him tonight and he was really bummed out. I just listened to him pour his heart out how much he loved her. How he wanted to live with her forever. As he told me the last part about the break up he turned towards me and took a zip of his beer. "How about you? Why all those scars.. and that scared look when Dave had called.... and most of all... Why did you try to kill yourself... ?" He asked and looked at me. "Because of him..." I answered with tears swelling up. "Who?" Mumbled James eyes wide. "Dave..." "You know him?" "Yeah... He is the father of my baby... that i put away last year for adoption..." I mumbled. "Tell me the whole thing... Im good at advice and listening..." He said as he lied down on the sand. "It started when i moved to his town 6 years ago...."
- 6 years ago -
"But mom...." I pleaded and looked at her. "No.. You are moving... No doubt about it..." Said mom. "But to my aunt?" I asked looking shocked. "Yes...The way you have behaved those last 4 months is more for us..." "Its just a little bit of drugs... Heroin isnt that bad..." I said smiling. "Every damn drug is dangerous Tara.... You have to grow up girl... You`ll be dead by your 20, which is in 6 years if you dont stop..." Mom said taking a harder grip around my shoulders. "But... I.... Mom your hurting me..." I said and tried to get away from her.
- Present day -
"So you moved there because you had been using drugs for 4 months?" Asked James and looked shocked. "Well you have to try it once to know what not to do..." I said and looked a tad red. I wasnt proud of my past. "I dont intend to try it... Never..." He answered resting his head on his hand. "Good... Its not good for your body.... Besides.. you look fit enough you dont wanna ru-shit... Did i say that out loud?" I asked now more red like a tomato. "Yep... But dont worry about it.. " "Alright..." "Yes...What happend next?" He asked. "I moved to the town, met Dave at some party... Fell inlove with his charm... We became bestfriends, hung up every minute of the day, last year... We became a couple... well actually not.. we got so drunk we had sex and i got pregnant.. He left some day without a note.. not knowing i was pregnant... I had the baby and I gave it up for adoptoin... I start cutting myself, 3 times a day.... I started with drugs again... started drinking... So yeah.. Thats my story... Anything else?" I asked and looked at James, he was shocked. I could see it on his face. "Dave... That fucking asshole.... Lets go" He said and got up. "You cant drive... Your drunk..." I said as he was about to fall over. "What? No... Im not...Im not dru-woah-woah....shiiiiit" He mumbled as he fell over me. I laughed as he looked into my eyes. "Give me your phone... I`ll find someone who can come here and pick us up.... Damn it... Gotta find some place to stay too... Think Kevin can have me.... Hmm..Thanks.." I said as he gave me his phone. I went through his list and saw some dude named Charlie. He answered on the third ring.
- Hey .. Charlie? - Yes? Who`s this? - Hi.. Its Tara... Uhm.. Ive hung out with James talking now for 4 hours.. We got drunk... and he fell on me.... He is sleeping now.. Can you get someone to drive you to the beach next to the italian store down here.... He cant drive... and I dont have my licence yet. - Sure T, I`ll get Camilla to drive me down there. Just... Make sure he doesnt sleep til i come down there. - Alright, thanks dude. - No problem, see you in 10 minutes. - Bye.
I hung up and put his phone back into his pocket. Rolling him over I got a good look at his arse, staring at it i forgot I had to wake him up, but the job was done, his face fell into the sand as i had rolled him over and he started spitting sand. Lifting his head up he looked at me and laughed. "Why you staring at my bum?" He asked and giggled. "Huh?" I asked snapping out of it. "Your staring at my arse girl...Who are you btw?" He asked. "Tara..." "Oh yeah.. that... that... She... I mean.. Dave yeaaah..... gosh im gonna kill him when i get home..." "You live with him?" "Yeeeep... That fucker will be dead when i get home... I hope i still have my bat in my room... Gonna kick Chris` ass if he took it home..." He stumbled as he tried to get up, as he looked up a car drove up to his and Charlie as i think, jumped out and came down to us. "Whats the traitor doing here?" Asked James. "I called him so he could drive you home" I said and helped him not to fall over. "Hey... Im sorry it took so long... Matt called saying he couldnt find James.. and i explained you had called.... " Said Charlie as he took an arm around James and helped me up to his car, Camilla drove off at that point. I remembered now who Charlie was. "Well then... Im going..." I said and as James had fall in the back seat. "Nooo.. Girl... Where?" Asked James and looked at me. "I dont know..." I answered. Charlie leaned on the car and tried to find out what was going on. "Thought you knew James or something.... Dont you have a place to stay?" Asked Charlie. "Nope.. But`ll manage..." I said with a smile. "You dont mean that... " Said Charlie. "Yes, I dont.. Dont worry about me.." "Your staying with me girl.. I hate to see people have no home.." Stated Charlie and smiled. "You dont know me.." "Dont care.. get in.." I got in still aware of James who fell onto the floor of the car, he giggled and I looked at Charlie. He gave me this weird look and pulled out of the parking lot heading for James` ... home. As we reached his ... well fab house someone came out of it and there stood the guy i had hated for a year. "Oh no.... Him" I said and looked terrified. "What? Whats so wrong about Dave?" Asked Charlie as he got out of the car. "We have history..." I answered as I also got out of the car. "How?" "He got me knocked up.." "What? You did?" Asked Charlie and looked at Dave as he reached us. "Yeah... I obviously did..." Dave answered looking disgusted. "I suggest you go inside before I punch you...I dont know the story.. but i have a feeling I dont even have to ask for the rest of it... so go inside before i smash you into the wall Dave.." Said Charlie as he reached for James who giggled and got out of the car and fell to the ground. Dave turned around and walked inside cursing to himself. I helped Charlie support James into the house and up to his room. "I suggest you stay the night here..... I`ll pick you up in the morning if you still wanna stay at my place..." Said Charlie smiling. "Oh.. Yeah okey... I guess...." "Well I`ll take his car to my place... and then tomorrow morning I`ll come by with it" He hugged me and smiled before he took off. It was just me and Dave left. "Can I borrow the shower? And some clothes?" I asked. "Why do you even talk to me?" Dave hissed. "Do you want me to punch you instead? Yeah.. Your an asshole... but right now.. I havent had a shower in 3 days... I have been living on stealing food in london... on drugs... and cutting myself... So if you would be so lovely to give me a shower and some clean clothes... just for tonight i will be out of your lives tomorrow morning before you wake up..." I said looking straight into his eyes, you would get so lost in them if you wanted to. Like i had done for the past 6 years. "Fine, but i suggest you stick around... James actually needs you now..." Said Dave before he took off, he came back with clean clothes. "Mine.....Doesnt matter how long you borrow them..." He said before he showed me where the shower was. I took a long shower feeling the hot water running over my body. God how i missed these times. Knowing i could shower when i wanted to, eat when i wanted, have my bestfriend always around when i needed it, sleep in a real bed. Clean clothes when i needed it, friends, a family. But those things had changed when i needed to move. I hadnt talked to my parents in 5 years. They didnt know where i had gone at all. "Thanks" I said and before I went into James` room. He was sleeping quietly hugging his pillow. Around 5 he suddenly woke up and looked at me before he screamed. Dave came rushing in glaring at both of us. "Whats with the fucking girl scream? I was sleeping.. Bloody hell man..." He cursed before he went back to his room. "Who the hell are-Wait.. Tara?" He asked. "Yep..." I mumbled smiling. "Did you stay around? All night?" "Yes... Charlie told me to do it... and Dave said you needed me..." "True..." He mumbled as he rested his head on his pillow "Come here.." He said and patted his bed. "Naah.. Im fine.." I mumbled. "No.. Come here.. Your shivering... Im sorry my room is so cold.... I just cant sleep if its hot in here...." "Dont worry" "Listen to me... Come here Tara..." "Okey fine" I mumbled walking over, creeping under the covers I could feel his body next to mine. Falling asleep a minute later I could feel him putting his arm around my waste and his breath on my neck. I missed those times so much, it was like I had lost all the will to believe it happened again. So now when it happened... I was scared to death he would let me go. I turned around and looked at him. "Dont let go" I wispered. "I wont" He said and smiled as he kissed my forehead. I fell asleep after that and woke up to the sun shine creeping in over us from the window, James made some sound and he opend his eyes. "Good morning..." He said before yawning. "Morning" I mumbled before getting out of his bed. "Nope.. Your not..." He said and pulled me back. I laughed and Dave walked past seeing James tickle me. I couldnt believe James would take me in like that, holding me like that... He had known me for what? 12 hours? And now he was tickling me like I was his bestfriend... girlfriend.. whatever. "Aww no.. Gotta tinckle...." I said holding a hand on my bladder area. "Haha.. Alright.." He said and let me go. I rushed out of his room and over to the bathroom.... Where Dave had bloody occupied the whole thing. "Damn you dave.... Let me in before I piss your pants man...." I shouted. There was a light lock up and I stepped inside. He was fixing his hair, I sat down on the toilet like old times. We didnt care who was doing what when the old times was.
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Post by Cydonia on Apr 17, 2006 11:53:40 GMT 1
;D Love it ;D
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Post by Kristin( : on Apr 17, 2006 11:57:56 GMT 1
yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihaaaaaa!!! ;D more babe
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Post by Ida on Apr 20, 2006 16:07:55 GMT 1
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Post by Julie:) on Apr 20, 2006 19:29:03 GMT 1
I'm diggin it, girl!!! ;D
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Post by mattass on May 7, 2006 18:43:42 GMT 1
"Im sorry" Said Dave as he looked into the mirror to locate me. "Takes more than that...." I mumbled and finished off, washing my hands before I went out of the bathroom and downstairs where James was dancing to Shakira - Hips dont lie(gotten to know about music while living on the street). He was dancing around the kitchen in his boxers to the song. Sitting down at the counter i smiled as he turned around and saw me. "Woaw... shit... You werent supposed to see that" He said. There was a knock on the front door and Dave opened. I could hear some angry conversation in the hall and Dave entered angry as hell, ignoring me. Charlie appeared and I squealed(inside) as I noticed him. God, I had already known him for 12 hours and I liked him more than anything. He was so kind and funny. "Hey girl" He said and kissed my cheek. "You smell like Dave..." He said sniffing my hair and then my shirt, well Daves shirt. "Didnt have any clean clothes last night..." I said and smiled as he sat down. "Well.. If you are staying with either of us... Wanna go shopping?" Asked James, I looked up. They both were smirking at my face expression, I nodded and punched Charlie in the arm as he giggled. "Cool... Lets eat and then go..." Said Charlie. "But we have a video shoot at 2 for Alien Autopsy.... " Said Dave. "Oh hell.. We`ll reach the shoot when we are supposed to .. Its only 9 now.." Said James. We ate as James whipped something up for us, Dave quiet as hell. Charlie told me they were going on tour soon and he could fly me to the shows I wanted to go to. I was suprised by all the kindness from the boys that I just nodded when he said he could do it. After breakfast Dave took me aside and handed me a creditcard. "I know i cant make up for what I put you through-" As he touched my arms "But this can be a little start.." "Oh... but.. I dont think so.." I said and tried giving him his creditcard back, he refused to take it and I just had to put my shoes on and toodle along with Charlie and James. Reaching the mall they asked me where to go, and I just said: "Baggy clothes" "Okay" the both said and dragged me off to some girl/boy store. They both walked along the ailse( ?) of things and grabbed pants, shirts, hoodys, boxers before they paid for each pile and we walked out of there. As they were done shopping pants and the other parts they told me to go shop girly underwear, both blushing as they told me to do it. I walked on my own to some store and inside. Taking some things I thought I could use i went over to pay for it. The girl looked up and smiled, not that i knew at that time James stood behind me. "Dude.. Thats alot..." Said James and I jumped. Turning around he grinned and shifted position on the floor before I managed to pay and walk out of the store. "Your such a big airhead... Scaring the shit out of me..." I said hitting him. Reaching Charlie who were signing some top on a girl I saw some killer shoes and went into the shoe store. Buying a few pair of shoes I walked out again and saw the boys sitting on some bench talking with about 40 bags around them. "Done?" Asked James. "Well yeah....." I answered. "Awesome.. Now.. We have to buy a bed, a nightstand, a few girly things, a closet, a cd player and a couple of 200 hundred cds..." Said Charlie. "What? Who`s moving?" I asked. "You" Answered James as he dragged me and Charlie off to find a cd player, for me, they found one, + a little one for cds, and a Ipod. Then they went with me to the music store where I got some cds of fightstar, son of dork, busted, Mcfly, My chemical romance, Funeral for a friend, Michael Jackson and so on. So after that they bloody dragged me off to find a bed and a nightstand. As to the fact the room I was sleeping in from now on had a closet. "Then it was a laptop for her... and a digital camera..." Said Charlie "I`ll get that" And he took off. "What the hell.. Why are you guys buying me all these things?" I asked as James pushed me down on some bench. "Because from what i know you havent had that much... people giving you up... giving up a baby..." He said and smiled, I looked down on my scars that I had and blinked away the tears that were swelling up in my eyes. "Well yeah... " I answered. "And when Charlie and I have the money to give you a few things, clothes and i can give you a home.. Then i will...." He answered. "I dont know how to thank you for it.." "Just say that you will accept these things and the home i will give you... I will be away a lot on tour and promotion... and i will travel in and out of the country so much.... " "I know... " "Good, do you want this?" "Well yes... but... I dont deserve it.. and I will be asking for loads more.. I need medication.. and doctors around me for the problems.. and You gotta prepare for me being bitchy... My mood swings are shit.. and I will be a person that people need to take care of... I can go cut myself for the most weirdest things..." "Im prepared... I might not know how to handle it now... but im willing to learn.. And as i managed to save you last night from killing yourself.. I noticed something I never had..." "What?" "Someone to make sure was alive... someone I actually cared about.. I havent known you for that long.. But I care already..." "Its sweet that you wanna do all this for me.... But its just not a house, clothes, meds and a shoulder to cry on that is needed... 24/7 care is needed from you.." "Im aware of that.. and i have friends around me that will get to be friends with you... Im gonna be around.. and i wanna i can take you on tour... If you would like to do that... " Said James. I didnt answer him, I couldnt. Charlie came back with a cool laptop and a digital camera for me, handing it to me i smiled and didnt know whether to hug him or slap him. I chose the first thing and both lads got a tad sniffely. "Well then... your things will be delivered in a few hours, Tom and the others are there to take it when it comes..." Said James. "And I have to go home now.. and you to the video shoot... Wanna join James and watch how the film the video?" Asked Charlie, I nodded and thought of the lyrics to We`re not alone. James or any of the boys naked in a crop circle. BRING IT ON! I`d say. "Mkay..." I mumbled sheepishly and smiled like a little girl. We went to the set and founf the other guys waiting for us, it was 40 minutes left til the shoot and James went off to hair and make up. Dave who was done sat next to me. I ignored him and tried the digital camera i had gotten. "You want your creditcard back?" I asked. "Mmm.. sure" He mumbled smiling, I gave him the creditcard back and looked up just in time to see James tip toe over the floor for the bathroom, he had undress for the first shoot. I giggled and snapped a photo of him just before he got into the bathroom and locked the door, fearing some wackos would break in and snap photos of him naked. Like i would do that? Yeah! Okay.. Hadnt he locked it i would have. When he got out again he smiled at me and told me to follow because it was time for the vid shoot. The set of the first scene was amazing, they had built a big crop circle where they had made the universe, James got undressed hiding his parts. "We`ll do this fast so you dont have to be naked for so long" said the director "Alright IN PLACES"
"5...4...3..2..1.." James took his hand away and put one up to his eyebrows like he was really looking at the stars that was blinding him.
Standing in crop circles naked Gazing at the stars Cause there's a possibility, there Could be life on Mars I hope they bring back Elvis Cause how crazy would that be? I know he's up there somewhere Playing halo with ET
Steve was next, there was going to be like a teacher thingy, where he was going to point at some pictures and sing his part. He came out of wardrobe looking well hot. He had a tux thingy on and black glasses with his hair down in his eyes. "Hey guys" He smiled. "He-he-hey Ste-e-ve" I stuttered looking very much girly there. I swear i got a fucking girlboner seeing him, like that. James ran past me and in for wardrobe. They were having the scenes together afterwards. "Just admit it.. You think he is a damn hotties" Said Danny Hall, he smiled when i gawked at him. "He isnt ugly.. just not telling him that i like him.." I said looking at him. "Haha.. oh really... We`ll see about that" He mumbled walking off. "Did I hear my name?" Asked Dave smiling. "Nope.. We were talking about someone with brains.. and last time i checked yours got abducted by some aliens.. I hope..." I mumbled and walked off too. Finding James was easy, he was standing behind the director watcing as Steve was filmed.
The truth the pentagon ignored That Roswell kept behind closed doors The lies that you've been reassured It just can't be denied If you open your mind
This is fun! Watching one of the bands you love shoot a video, and the best of them all. I must admit.. it was well hot. Steve winked at me before they headed off for the group performance scene on the crop circle. James grabbed me and carried me over to the scene. Dave just walked past us with a hmf and a finger up to show how he felt about the friendship that was developing. Not that i cared about it. I smiled as James put me down and went over to the others for the scene. "ACTION"
If the universe is a place that we call home (We're not alone) Why should we believe that we're here on our own? (We're not alone) Is there anyone here without doubt in their mind? Is there anyone too blind to open their eyes? Realise We're not alone, we're not alone
I couldnt help but smile for the next scene, Steve, James and Dave were going to abduct Chris and Danny, a little mini ufo was going to come down as they were sleeping in a tent in the same crop circle. They had to have their hair up like it was blown up with some hair products, a black suit and alien masks, pluss some gun thing that they were gonna zap them with.
We've all been abducted We get taken every day They zap us with their red light And our memory goes away The truth is in our backyard It's all buried in the ground
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Post by Cydonia on May 7, 2006 19:37:58 GMT 1
;D ;D ;D
Meg har lest den på mcfly fiction ;D ;D
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Post by mattass on May 13, 2006 10:15:44 GMT 1
The next day James had the day off, so he decided to help me but up my room, yeah basically put it up. He went to bed at 3 as we got home from the shoot and I sat down on the couch, I wasnt feeling in the mood for sleeping. Looking through a picture book that was out I smiled, there was pictures of me and Dave, whatever we did, swimming in the river, eating ice cream... everything. I looked up and stared at the aquarium. Why was this out? I remembered that I had made it for him at his 17th birthday. Did he look through them for old times sake? Did he miss me? There was all these questions running through my head. When the clock stroke 7 James came downstairs rubbing his head, I looked up and gawked. He looked so damn cute, his blonde/black/brown hair sticking out, no shirt on, revealing his broooown sixpack and black boxers. "What?" He asked and looked at me, I looked at him. "Huh?" I mumbled still not taking my eyes off his stomach. "Wanna rub it?" He asked with a sheepish smile on his face. "What?" I cried out. "Your looking at my stomach.. Not hard to see.." He mumbled and toddled into the kitchen, I followed him and sat down at the counter as he pulled out a few things to make breakfast. "Just got up?" He asked and looked at me as he was cracking an egg in the frying pan. "No.. Didnt go to bed.." "What?" "Yeah... Sleeping trouble..." "Have you tried some pills for it? Sleeping pills?" "No.... " He whipped out breakfast for both of us and we sat down in the living room eating watching the morning cartoons, James was going into town at 9 for a meeting with the ones who manages sicpuppy for him most of the time. There was some new things he was gonna make and wanted to talk to them. Charlie arrived around 8.45 to help me put up the bed in my room. James took off leaving money behind for a pizza, he was going shopping with his ex girlfriend after the meeting as I had forgotten, but he would be back until 1 for lunch. "Ready?" Asked Charlie pulling up his jeans. "Yep... " I mumbled. We went up to my room and looked at the mess, clothes in a pile, the closet not put up, and pizza and coke bottles left from yesterday when Tom and Danny camped in here. "Hey guys" Said Dave smiling. I just glared at him. I could see Charlie just looking at him with a strange face and then Dave took off without a blink. "You mad at him?" I asked as Charlie sat down trying to figure out how to put up the bed. "Sort of" "Why?" "Him fucking you over like he did, people like that makes me wanna rip their head off" He muttered and almost broke some plate that was supposed to be put under the bed. "But you guys dont know me... You shouldnt care so much.." "When James goes like he has, taking you in like this, its a good thing, you should look at it in a good way, he doesnt do this often, he took one in.. do you know a certain Jemma Temnton?" He asked. "Jemma? Number one all over the uk Jemma Temnton?" I asked in shock almost tripping over him. He grabbed my hips and rescued me from falling on him, I looked into his eyes and smiled. "Sorry, has she lived here?" I asked. "Yeah... for 2 years..." "Wow" We knocked out of the transe we were in talking about jemma and started on my room, at 11 Charlie ordered pizza while I listened to music in my room, dancing to We`re not alone and jamming along on a broom I didnt notice Danny and Tom arriving to. And James who had called Kara saying he didnt want to go shopping. He suddenly broke into the dance singing along, I stopped and looked at him. "Oh gosh.." I mumbled going bright red. "If the universe is a place that we call home We're not alone Why should we believe that we're here on our own? We're not alone Dundundundundurunrun" Sang Danny doing some jump I did. "Shut up" I muttered hitting his arm. "That was rather fun" Said James smiling at me, Charlie sent him a funny look and shaked his head like he saw something he didnt believe. "Yeah whatever..." I mumbled and walked past them. Something about it..it wanted me to kick their asses. Getting downstairs I walked outside and sat stood in the rain feeling it pour down on me, someone came out and touched my shoulder. "Im sorry.." Said James and looked at me crying. "I cant let someone let you get into my life... I cant hurt you like i have hurt others.. Im not worth the fight you wanna be put through... " I said turning towards him. "I dont care... There is something in there makes me wanna do everything for you.. and then it means i will, if you let me in.. I can help you through this,.." "No.. I just wanna go back to the street life, alchohol, drugs, in fact i have drugs in this house.. how i have to fight to survive... Its the only thing i know... So please.. give me up.. this is not worth what i will put your through now... I dont wanna hurt anymore people... " "I wont let you leave this house, I`ve taken you into my home, and your not going away like that, we are in the studio recording now for son of dork.... but I will put it off for a few weeks... I wanna get to know you and thats what I intend to do, so let me into your heart, let me into your mind... " "Why? This is not worth it, I will put you through so much pain, Im addicted to alcohol and drugs James... dont you get that? I will scream, I will yell, hit, kick, smack, hurt.. everything possible... I have drugs in my body... and i can feel them running out now.. and i need more... so please... let me go.. this is not worth it... " "It is, Dave gave you up for this shit dream of his... Im not like him, I will help you in anyway i can, i like you, your different from every bimbo bitch ive dated and been with, or seen... and if i can have you as a friend.. I fucking intend to fight for you then. Dont care if you like it or not, your not getting rid of me" "He is right... Let him help you... I was in for alcohol abuse... If it wasnt for him i wouldnt be alive and doing great as a solo singer now.." Said Matt, I looked at him. "He helped you? But it all said Emma was there.." I mumbled. "Thats pretty much bullshit... and we know you a tad already... so let us be there, I know what its like, so i can be a good support and listener... " Stated Matt. "I would love that... but.. this is just way out of league guys..." I said looking at them both. "Im willing to take the challenge.." "If you wanna... Im not going to fight against that... I do wanna quit drugs and alcohol" I said shivering, James moved closer, wrapping his arms around me. It felt so good having someone to hug like that, and something told me he would do everything to help me through the biggest challenges of all I had left. Giving up my past and moving on. "And the first one is getting the drugs out of your body... I think we are standing a head three of the longst days now" Said James smiling before he kissed my forehead. "Lets go inside.. You both need dry clothes..." Said Matt smiling. We walked inside seeing Danny and Tom playing their guitars, i guess they often came here to write songs with James. After all.. He did know how to write a big hit. Like the ones they had surved England for a few years now. James found some dry clothes for me, I went into the bathroom and took the clothes i had on off, putthing his shirt on I smelled it and smiled. He smelled good, and when it was time for me to leave this place.. I was going to miss that smell. Putting the pants on I stopped to think. Still I couldnt figure out why he had taken me in like this, making sure I was going to be taken care off like he promised. Now, I was just afraid. 3 days or 2 days with puking, sweating, everything possible to get the drugs out of my body was standing ahead. And then... pills... therapy... crying... cutting... staying away from alcohol. I couldnt wait for it to happen. When I got out of the bathroom I crashed into Dave, he stopped and looked at me. I swear I could see a smile on his face. Before I even knew it.. He kissed my cheek. "I regret leaving you like i did... but your back now and i going to prove to you that your everything to me... " He said and walked off. "Right.. When hell freezes over.." I muttered and walked downstairs to see Danny dancing to some song on telly as Tom came around the corner from getting the pizza for something. "Movie .... NIGHT" He yelled and smirked at me. "Good 4 you darling" I mumbled.
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Post by Cydonia on May 13, 2006 17:31:27 GMT 1
Love iiiit ;D
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Post by Julie:) on May 14, 2006 0:49:04 GMT 1
;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by mattass on May 14, 2006 17:17:56 GMT 1
"You want some?" Asked Danny and looked at me holding up coca cola and pack of cheez doodle. "No... You know what i want?" I asked a tad angry. "Me.. well that is obvious.. I wouldnt have to think to know the answer.." He said with a cheesy grin. "No drugs.." I said getting up... I walked up to my room and sat down looking through my stuff finding what i was looking for. "Thats not what you want..." Said someone and I looked up. There stood Matt with a serious face. "How do you know that..." I mumbled. - Dave - When i got to Tara`s room I heard something I wasnt supposed to hear. "Isnt it obvious.... Drugs is taken when hell is going on ... then you get addicted.. and you think you want it because it causes you to feel good.... Which it doesnt... makes your insides dance cha cha.... Your dying arent you?" Asked Matt. "What?" "I can see it on you... How long do you have left?" "Seriously what?" "Every person who is dying ... they are pushing away each person in their life... Your sick arent you... your body is sick of the drugs and the alcohol.. You havent been an addicted for just a year... you have for 6 years.... " "How can you see it?" "My friend died that way...How long do you have left?" "They gave me 2 years to clean up... Thats all i have left... if im lucky.. 3 years ...One year has past already..." I backed into the wall... She was dying. Tara was dying... and I had left her without knowing... how did the baby survive...? I just didnt understand what was going on.. Did the baby die? Is my daughter still alive? I slowly turned around and went downstairs. Where I found the others talking.
Upstairs:
"How do you plan to tell Charlie and James?" Asked Matt and looked at me. "I dont... They dont need to know... Im out of here before they even know it..." I answered looking at him as he took the bag with the drugs I had and took a hard grip around them. "Thats not going to happen... You already love this place" "Stop shitting... I dont.. I have only been here for like .... two days..." "So why do you smile when James is talking to you? Or hugs you? Why do you smile when Charlie looks at you? Or talks to you?" "I do not..." "You are..." Matt could read me like an open book, how did he do it? No one have been able to do that. Dave dont know about me being sick. He couldnt see that, I hid it so well back then. I looked at Matt, if i wanted the support I needed to get through this... I could just turn to him, James and Charlie. And the other boys. They were so kind to me. "Just let me get to know James first before I tell him.. Please.. dont tell anyone....And yes... my baby survived...." I answered. "Thats what I thought... But let me find your daughter... I think its about time Dave gets to know her... and the other guys, you owe them all that. And she needs to know who her real mom and dad was before you pass... Alright?" "Okey, the number is in the right pocket on my bag..." "You carry it with you?" "I`ve been meaning to call them since I gave her up.. Just never happened..." I got up and walked downstairs to the others, smiling. Dave looked at me and .... started crying. He got up and walked into the kitchen sobbing, walking after him I got one hell of a shock. He was rocking back and forth biting his knee. I sat down next to him and took his hand. "I heard you and Matt... Your dying...." He said, and I blinked to force the tears to not come. It wasnt supposed to be like this at all. No one was supposed to know that I was going to die soon. "Im sorry you had to find out like that... I didnt want to hurt you..." "But I did.... Why didnt you tell me?" "I couldnt... I havent told anyone, Matt saw it on me.. somehow" He looked up with the tears streaming down his face, It wasnt fake, He really ment it. This was breaking him up. Somehow I was happy he got to see the pain I had to go through. "Matt is going to find our daughter... Im going to make sure you have custody of her by, you and the other guys before I die..." "What?" "Yeah... He is going to look for her.."
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Post by Cydonia on May 17, 2006 14:52:23 GMT 1
;D
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Post by mattass on May 18, 2006 18:45:01 GMT 1
The rest of the day went by avoiding James who seemed to be everywhere in the house, even trying to get into the bathroom. For some reason. I had decided to wait a month before I let the others know. It was hard enough that Dave and Matt already knew. That night James slept in my room,on the floor. Allthough he didnt sleep. He sat watching as I fought to get the drugs out of my body. I threw up 5 times that night. It was the most hardest part of the thing to know James was there watching me. The next morning Charlie came in who had slept over and I looked up. "I can watch her so you can get some sleep.." Said Charlie. "No.. Im okay.." He mumbled. "Seriously dude... Go.. I can watch her..." "No.. Go.. " Charlie left and we were all alone, he got up and sat down next to the bed stroking my chin. He seemed so calm about it. I didnt know how to react, but then again i couldnt consentrate. "I need more.." I moaned. "No..." Stated James. "Yes I do.." I hissed. "No You dont.. You dont need drugs... " In the next second I had smacked him so hard and he fell down. At that point I didnt bother to say sorry. But when i felt better I was going to apoligize. He got up and walked out of the room. Deep inside I knew he was hurting, it was hurting him to see me being like that towards him. I just knew it. The rest of the day Matt watched me being in hell. 4 mornings later I was well enough to get out of bed, I walked downstairs around 6 and found James on the couch watching tv. I sat down next to him. "I remember what i did 2 days ago.. I really didnt mean to... Im so sorry.." I said looking at him. He turned around and I could see him fully, his left eyes was black. "Oh god..." I said and got up rushing into the kitchen. "Tara.." Said James and followed me "Tara.. Its okay... Matt was like this when he fought to get out of it... It doesnt matter that I have a black eye... You are slowly... and i point out slowly getting where you need to be..." Oh that is more than right love. Im dying! I told myself. "Yer..I guess.." I mumbled. "Wanna go out to eat this morning?" He asked and took my head in his hands. "Yer I guess... I just need to shower..." I mumbled. "*sniffs* I can smell that.." "Ive been in a complete fight with own body for 4 days getting the drugs out of my system....Do you think im supposed to smell like a rose?" "Not really.." Just then Charlie came down stairs, he smiled and looked at us. He had been watching me for 2 days now and had fallen asleep on the floor in my room. "Morning..." He mumbled. A month later I had asked James and Charlie to go to the beach with me. I was going to tell them the whole thing now. When the clock stroke 6 James and I drove to the beach where Charlie was now waiting for us. I got out of the car and took a deep breath. When they had sat down I sat down in front of them. "I need to tell you guys something, Ive gotten to you know you both now over the past month... Matt and Dave got to know it already after the 2nd day at James` house, and its about time you know it..." I said and took another deep breath. "Whats that?" Asked Charlie looking at me. "Why do I fear what was is coming now..." Mumbled James. "I got a little over 11 months left of my life, maybe another year if im lucky... " I said facing them. "What?" They mumbled. "Are you serious?" Asked James. "Yes... Im dying.... Thats why I wanted to leave so fast..." I answered. "Oh god..." hiccuped Charlie and got up. "Charlie.. Dont.." I pleaded. "Your fucking dying Tara... I got into your life.. I learned to like you for such a good friend and help you like we have for a month now-" "Your both keeping me alive longer..If I crack again now my life line is gonna get shorter..." "We have?" Asked James just glaring into space. "Yes.. I hate myself enough for starting with drugs so please dont hate me for this... Its thanks to the fact that I have been been using pain killers, drugs and alcohol thats killing me...." I looked at both boys, how they were reacting to this whole thing. James was just looking into space not knowing what to say to it. Charlie was walking back and forth on the beach listening to me. "Im sorry i didnt tell you sooner... I just didnt know if i would be around your lives to tell you now... but i was wrong" I said. "You sure as hell were... " Muttered Charlie looking at me with a angry face. "Why the hell are you mad at me?" I asked. "Because your fucking dying..." He shouted. "Shut up" Said James and got up. "What?" Asked Charlie and turned around. James didnt answer, he just walked up to his car, along with Charlie, they didnt seem to notice me or think of me right now. I called Matt and started crying before he even had answered.
- Hey Tara. - Can you come pick me up? You know where... I need to get away from here now. They didnt take it well. - Alright, I`ll be there in 10 minutes. - Thanks. Bye.
10 minutes he arrived, I walked up to the car and got in. "So do you wanna stay at my place now?" He asked. "No... I need to get some clothes at James`s place... and disappear..." I said. "WHAT?" He shouted and turned around, Emma looked at him. "Just... let me do this... " I mumbled. "Let her.... Its not easy.. and you know about 80 of what she is going through now... " Said Emma, I couldnt say I liked her that much but right now I could have kissed her. "Fine.... But you call me every day, or else.. I`ll have the cops after you in no time..." He mumbled before pulling out of the parking lot. We drove to James` house and I went inside to pick up some clothes, when I got out they were still waiting for me. When I got into the car Matt was whiping tears away from his face. "I`ll just have to do one thing before I drop you off..." He said as we drove off again, I hadnt left any note to the boys where I went. Matt stopped by the movies before he came back a few minutes later. When he got into the car he gave me a big pile of money. "Some sort of payment for living with the lads?" I asked. "No.. to keep you alive.... Its yours.." "Dont do this... I dont want any money..." I said and refused to take it. One look from Emma made me smile fakely at Matt and take the money. Then I got out of the car and walked into the dark night. No one was going to find me now. No one was going to hurt me again like the boys now had. They wouldnt understand it at all. No one ever would. 4 days later:
- James -
"TELL ME DAMN IT... I DO NOT NEED THIS NOW.. SO FUCKING TELL ME WHERE SHE WENT.. I KNOW SHE HAS BEEN CALLING YOU SINCE SHE LEFT.. IVE CHECKED HER PHONE... IT WAS I AFTER ALL WHO BOUGHT IT FOR HER... " I screamed into Matt`s face. "No.." Said Matt and looked at me. "WHY NOT?" "With the way you AND charlie left her at the beach that night... I see no reason why you should know where she is... She is fine and thats all you need to know" He said and walked off. "God, What a fucking twat..." I muttered and sat down. "Call all news channels.... I need to find her.." I said and looked at Charlie and Dave.
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Post by mattass on May 21, 2006 12:44:44 GMT 1
- Tara -
As I crossed the corner 4 days later I saw a big news team teaming up in the park. Some stage thing was set up and they were obviously waiting for someone to turn up, I walked past the people and stood on 3rd row waiting for the person to come. I was texting Matt when someone stepped up, I looked up and stared right at James. "I have called you guys here today because Im looking for a special person. Tara Goldbert. She took off from my house 4 days ago. If you see this girl somewhere-" He said and pointed at a huge screen where a few photos of me was shown "Please call this number, we need her back" He said and looked at the crowd. He saw me and I started pressing my way through the crowd. "TARA, WAIT" He yelled, and i looked back seeing him jump down from the stage knocking people over, and the press going mad. I saw the cops who had formed around and didnt know where to go. I grabbed my bag that was falling off my shoulder and ran as fast as I could through the big crowd. The cops were coming towards us and I almost gave up, but then one police woman tripped and I grabbed the oppertunity to run past her. How to lose James?! I screamed in my head. How the hell could I get him off my back. Then I saw a store, losing loads of cops there. It worked everytime. "Why not" I said and ran in there. "TARA PLEASE DONT" He yelled as he followed me into the store, the people there knew me well. So they didnt mind seeing me run through the store once more. When I got to the back I took a deep breath and sank to the ground, my lungs were collapsing, I could feel them closing. As I flickered my eyes I saw someone sit down. I knew that person, It was Charlie. "Hold in there love... Im getting you to the hospital.." He said and smiled as I blacked out.
- Charlie - I opened my phone and got James on, he was in the store. - Come out on the back. She is here. I cant get her to breath again. - Im calling the ambulance. I hung up and dialed 911, just then James came out and saw me, he took over Tara and I got on the phone with the crew working 24/7 to help people. - Hi yes. This is Charlie Simpson, I need an ambulance at the back of the emo shop on 3rd street. This girl collapsed, she is seriously ill. .. Yes.. thanks... Alright! Yeah! Oke. M.m! Sure. thanks. Bye. "Mouth to mouth... just try it.... They will be here in 5 minutes..." I said and sat down and started pressing on her chest as James breathed into her mouth. 5 minutes later the paramedics took over doing the more technical stuff getting life into her, we had managed to get her breathing with what we had done. And i thanked god it had worked. And the fact that we had found her again was the best thing ever. I just hoped she wouldnt hate us now for getting her back. She was already mad at us for getting pissed off for telling us she was dying. But I guess the only good thing now was that Matt had found her daughter yesterday. He hadnt told her that when he was on the phone with her last night. As James and I walked out from the store following the paramedics the press came running. "This stunt you pulled running of the stage.. Was it really Tara you saw?" Asked some bloke. "Yes, that was Tara I saw, so thanks for everything you all now... Charlie and I need to go, She is going to the hospital for treatment since she is sick...so further things.. turn to our spokes people for each band.. " Said James and smiled as we jumped into the back of the ambulance. "That was good.. You didnt kick their asses" I said and smiled. He was good at handeling the british press now. "Yer, I didnt, thank god, but all i was set on doing was getting her to the hospital, I cant wait til she knows.. you know... yer.." He said and smiled. Tara flickered her eyes open and looked at us. "You.." She mouthed...and glared at both of us. "We`re sorry, we seriously didnt mean to get so mad, You know we love you, so it came as a big shock to us that you were sick, but we are willing to be there for you now.. and we are so glad that we found.. by the way... that... when you are out of the hospital, we have something to tell you, something big" I said and took her hand rubbing it. The paradmedic dude sniffled and looked at us as he drove some thing into her hand. Why, i didnt know. At the hospital they got her checked up and told us what to do now,as she refused to stay in there. They gave us loads of meds to give her in needs of that, and then we were free to go home. At home everybody was gathered, with the suprise. "So whats all the fuss about?" She asked and opened the door. Looking inside she stopped and smiled. "Whats going on?" She asked. "Well I found something that belongs to you..." Said Matt and stepped aside. There sat Dave with little Brianna on his lap smiling and crying at the same time. "Meet our daughter" Said Dave getting up. "When did you find her?" She asked and walked over to Dave. "Two days ago..." Said Matt.
"You like her dont you?" I asked and looked at James, he was looking at Dave and Tara together with their daughter. "What?" Mumbled James not taking his look off of her. "You like her more than you want it to be, right?" I asked and stared at him. "Maybe I do.. but i dont want her to know about it..." He answered.
- James - So okay, lately I`ve had this strange feeling whenever I looked at Tara, talked about her or thought of her. I even dreamt about her every night. Different things happening, us falling in love, marrying, kids... you name it. Thats how I thought about her. She was everything to me and I couldnt get her out of my mind. It just didnt work and it sucked big time because i didnt to feel like I did. She was a friend to me and nothing more could happen. Its like Steve and Dave dating, but they were mad enough to pull a stunt like that so I wouldnt wanna compare it to that. I glance over at her and smiled, she was just perfect. Even though she had her things she didnt do right. But her, a person just like her... its what I would want as a wife. No doubt about it. Charlie who knew would probably spill the bean to her any day now, or now. I just hoped he wouldnt do that. I sat down and looked at Tara holding brianna as Dave played with her, Tara laughed and stroke Daves chin. My heart broke into a million pieces. "And the thing is... the parents who had her had given her 6 months ago... " Said Matt. Tara looked up at him and the shock was all over her face. "And that means?" She asked. "She is yours..." Said Matt and you could see the tears forming in his eyes. "She is? So we have her fully now?" Asked Dave. "Yes, I fixed the forms with the family who had her til someone else could take over and I had fixed something else too.. since .. you know.. so Charlie and ... James also could watch her with Dave.. and raise her.." Said Matt. "What about you? I want you to raise her.... " Said Tara, that was all that took for Matt, the tears were pouring down. "You want me to raise her with them?" Asked Matt. "Yes, I want you, James and Charlie to help Dave, when im gone.." Answered Tara. "When your gone? What the hell is going on?" Asked Danny. "Oh .. Im dying... got about probably if im lucky one and half year left..." She mumbled and looked at me for help. "Ops.. I almost forgot... You have to pack your bag... " I said to her. "Your throwing me out?" She asked. "No.. You and James are going to New york for the Mtv Video Music awards" Said Dave. "Huh?" She mumbled. "The Mtv Video Music awards is next week, and im presenting one award..and I want you with me there... Red carpet.. dress up... make up... papering there for a week... Shopping.... The whole thing.. and Im meeting up with some producer there... for the next sod album..." I answered. "Why the hell do you want me there? Everybody know about the druggie you took in.. and you sure as hell dont want to be seen with me.. trust me... You dont.." She said protesting. "I cant see a druggie... And you are going with me... the boys will take care of Brianna while we are there.... so pack your bag... Im going to call that doctor I need there for you ... and we leave tomorrow morning... around 11 pm" "But I dont wan-" "No buts.. pack your damn bag.." Said Danny and took Brianna. Tara looked at Danny before Tom dragged her up from Daves`s lap and sent her to her room. The next morning we left the house and headed for Heathrow, Matt drove us there so we wouldnt have to leave my car there. I checked in and we went to the gate.
- Tara - "Okey dokesh... See ya in about little over a week then Matt.. Take good care of Brianna and Dave.. and feed Dave 3 times a day and have him take a bath every night..." I said and smiled. "Oh yeah, Dont worry I will..." He mumbled and hugged me. We went on the plane where about 98 % turned around when they saw James Fine Arse Bourne walk past them. I dumped down in my seat near the window and was followed by James. He looked at me and smiled. "I gotta admit... Im not presenting any awards.... Im not going to the show.. unless you want to, I wanted to take you out of England for a while" He said. "You did? Why?" I asked tears swelling up in my eyes. "I figured you could need some time off, the press has been on your back since you moved into my house.. and.. Well I wanted to spend some more time with you.. alone.." "Thanks.. It means alot to me that you wanted to do this for me.. and you do need some promo.. so we`re going to the VMA`s.. " I said smiling at him. "Cool.. I figured you would want to go there.." The whole flight to New york I slept.. leaning on James... feeling his after shave..! Have you ever wanted to lean on James Bourne`s shoulder on a flight to some place. Or have the possibility to hug him? I must admit I always wanted to do it. Since I first saw him in Busted. He is the most cutest guy ever. And the girl who would end up with him.. she is going to be damn right lucky. He is so amazing. "Tara love.. We`re landing in New york now.." Whispered James with his so god damn sexy voice while he nudged my shoulder. "*snore* Wha? James Bourne? Yeah.. I know he is hot..." I mumbled thinking I wasnt with him. "Really? You think im hot?" Asked James, I shot up and looked at him. "That was nothing.. I had a bad dream.. It wasnt about you.." I mumbled. "Well I dont know anyone else besides me that is named James Bourne" "Yeah whatever... I dont like you.. I mean.. not like that...Oh fuck... " I muttered. When we walked off the plane in New york some people had gathered and screamed as James walked off the plane by my side.. well.. I sat on his back .... yeah. "Haha.. Wonder what they are saying as they see me on your back.." I mumbled. "Their problem.. Your my girl-eh.. I mean friend" He stuttered. I smiled, he just called me his girl. Allthough.. I had told him in my sleep I thought he was hot. Made no difference there. Guess we both had the hots for each other. But then again it didnt matter, I would be dead soon. I could feel it on my body that i was getting weaker. We went to the baggage claim and found our luggage, outside James hogged a taxi and we went to the hotel. On monday was the award show and I couldnt wait. But then again.. I had nothing to wear then. So making an effort to knock James off his feet wouldnt happen. All I wanted was to give him a kiss or something..... thats all i could do. Falling in love with him couldnt happen. And he couldnt fall in love with me. I couldnt let him open my heart like that. And since I was dying... he couldnt be crushed like in that way. I just couldnt let it happen. "Well then.. Its thursday now... we are going shopping tomorrow... for your outfit to the vma`s and mine... and we need to get some make up artist doll us up... And then on saturday we are going to some spa ... what do you say?" He asked me. "Really? Your fucking kiddin me?" I asked. "No.. Im not kidding.. Im serious, we are going to watch one or two movies tonight too.. " "Cool..." I mumbled as we walked into the hotel. James checked in, as he got back I looked at him. "Wheres my key?" I asked and looked at the one key he had in his hand. "No where.. we are sharing..." He answered and went to the elevator. Up in our room I dumped down on the bed and smiled. It was so god damn good to stay on, so I was not going to move from it. I stared up at the ceiling and smiled. Being in new york was fun. 30 minutes later James sat on top of me and looked down in my eyes. "We are going out now... first to central park and then to shop 300 pounds of candy and pizza and buy a few movies...." He said and got off of me. "Really? Can I pick out one movie?" I asked jumping up and down clapping my hands, okay, so I looked like a 7 year old school girl who got to know the school had burnt down. "Sure.. " "Cool... This is so fun.." I said and walked over to the door. "Whatever it takes to see who I really am.." Mumbled James. What did he mean with that? I asked myself as we went into the elevator. Downstairs the lobby was packed with people, obviously for some reason though. The dude who had opened our door ran over. "Get back to your room.... They are here for you...." He said and pratically panicked. "Pffft.. Dont worry.. I`ll take care of it.." James answered and leaned in on me, and our lips met. God! I melted. "Now..lets go over there...." He said as he let go of my lips who screamed for more. He took my hand and dragged me over there. "Hey guys" Said James, bout 90 % of those people looked like they wanted to strangle both of us. I just smiled and watched him take pictures with a few. As i stood there watching 5 girls walked up to me and smiled before one blurted out: "Can we take a picture with you...?" "Sure thin-What? Why?" I asked shocked. "Well everybody knows who you are..." Said one blonde girl. "Huh? How?" I asked still more shocked than I was 4 seconds ago. "Yeah... Everybody knows who you are.. there are articles about you... pictures of you and James... " "Seriously?" "Yeah, can we take a picture with you?" "Yer.. I guess... "
-James- I stopped and looked at the scene where the girls had lined up around my girlfr-shoot.. she is not my girlfriend. She is my friend who is a girl. I had tried to not show her all the mags writing about her and me. Because I didnt want her to think everybody wanted to slack her off or know about her. It was hard enough for her now that she was sick. Which Top of the pops and Sugar had gotten into and written about lately. They thought I was going to propose to her here in New york. But I wasnt, I just wanted to let her get away from it all, have some fun for once, hang out with me. I wanted to have some time alone with her, thats all I needed. And maybe she could see why I did that.. and that i liked her. I snapped out of my thoughts and watched as the girls took pictures with her, she smiled, and that was a good sign. "Tara love, we have to go now" I said and walked over to them. "Sure thing.. byebye girls.." She said and looked at me flicking her dark hair back. God, I wanted to do her. And I felt something trying to rise up. Damn it! I said to myself and rushed out the door putting my hoody around my waist so the arm thingys could hide my privates showing how they felt about her. She came outside putting her sunglasses down in her face and looked around for me, how the hell could I feel something like this. She didnt want me at all. I was just a friend to her. A boy who is a friend. If i wanted things to happen I had to do something about it, right? After she had located me who was cussing to a very specific part of my down part, we went to the supermarket where James took a trolley and we went mad getting things to eat, he took one big can of ice cream and soda and i pratically screamed to signalize that i liked this. "Stop that girl ...-" I Laughed "They will think im turning you on or something.. or doing you.." "Yeah and?" She asked teasing me. "Nothing.." I mumbled slightly red. "Hihi.. Your hot love.. but we`re friends... wouldnt happen..." She said, my heart broke. I blinked to fight the tears away and smiled at her. I put on a fake laugh. "Yeah,.. haha... Gosh, I wouldnt wanna shag you.. gosh.." I mumbled taking 5 cola bottles. She looked at me. Did she see what I wanted? We went to pay for it and then went outside to go to the hotel, we`re dropped our stuff off and then headed for central park. Sitting down in the park I looked at her, she was looking at the people walking around. I forgot that I was looking at her so when she looked at me and laughed.. I snapped out of my thoughts and laughed. She couldnt find out.. she just couldnt find out at all. After about an hour in the park we went to the some movie store and picked out a few movies. Tara wanted to get some movie about the chick from Gilmore girls. So we got that, and the omen, maybe if we couldnt do anything, maybe at least i could protect her. Somehow. Unless she loved those sorts of movies. We got Crash and tranpsorter 2, + Just my luck, Thunderbirds and harry potter and the goblet of fire. Getting back to our hotel room we changed into our pajamas as it was pretty late and I ordered a few pizzas. When that arrived we put on The sister hood of the travelling pants. Then it was time for the omen. And it went just my way. She got scared and cuddled up to me. At least I could hold her, if not make out with her or anything then i could be allowed to hold her. Right? We fell asleep during crash and woke up the next morning around 10, after showering and a little bit of talk about the omen we went downstairs to eat breakfast. So then it was the big shopping trip in new york. Seeing some of the shops we found one where Tara tried on a few dresses. I never knew how it was until now. She changed and changed and changed. I couldnt figure out how much that had went along with it. But then.... she found one she refused to show me. "What? Ive seen Kara in dresses.. I know you got big boobs .. and they wont fall out.. come on.." I said and tried to get her out of the changing room thingy. "No... but.. I can take this dress.. I like it" She mumbled. I payed for the dress and then we went to find her shoes. Which went by after 20 minutes finding some. Since she knew how the dress fittet her I couldnt do anything but pay. Then.. It was time for me. I loooooove finding stuff for award shows. And since i had to knock her off her feet so she would looooove me. Then it would take a while.
- Tara -
"You done? Your taking forever..." I mumbled. It had taken over 3 hours now with James finding something for the award show. "Nooo.. yeah, okey.. this can work.." He said from the changing room he was in now. "Let me see.." I said dead excited to see how hot he was. "No.." He answered. "What? Oh come on you punk.. let me see" I stated... well pleaded. "No, You wont not until monday" "Fine.. schmuck" I muttered. As he found his outfit we went outside, it was still early so we decided to go to the spa now instead of tomorrow. Monday came closer and then popped up, at 3 we started to get ready. James had gotten one more room at the hotel and we spread. Both had one hair stylist chick each and some make up artist. "Ready?" Asked the girl fixing my hair. "Yep" I said with a smile. "Awesome,lets make you more stunning" "Well wouldnt say that.. I dont look that hot.. " "Thats what you say honey.." When my hair was fixed the make up artist did my make up and I put on the dress and got my shoes on. I was meeting James in the lobby around 4.45 so I had to go down there now. I went over to elevator and took that down to the lobby, when the doors opened I looked up and thats when James turned around. And my god he looks fit but now he looked even more fit. That boy can knock you off your feet any time. And he sure as hell did now.
- James - She sure as hell looks hot now. Even hotter than she does. That girl knocked me off my feet now, when she reached me I eyed her up and down. Something called hottie stood in front of me. If im not mistaken she thought i looked like that too. "You look amazing" I said and smiled before I kissed her cheek. I should had kissed her lips instead. Such a twat... such a twat! "You do too.. Hotter than you usually are... God I cant take this anymore.." She said and grabbed me and... believe it or not. Kissed me. HAH! The world rocks. When she pulled away I licked my lips and smiled. "Wow" I mumbled. "Lets go" She mumbled rushing for the door. Outside we got into the limo and starting on our drinks, well her got a soda and I just took one glass of champagne.Fast though so she wouldnt want to have it herself. She could drink at all. The award show went by fast and we went back, James beeing drunk like hell and I being star struck as I had met Ashlee Simpson and the pussycat dolls. As we got inside our droom James grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall, he started kissing me, moving his hand up my dress, I couldnt help but getting turned on. "God.. I want you so bad.." He moaned and dragged me over to the bed,while getting our clothes off we made out. The next day when i woke up I smiled like hell. I had humped James Bourne. This was getting out of line to be honest. I looked down at James who were sleeping quietly on his stomach with his face turned towards me. I crawled out of bed and went into the bathroom and put the shower on, I brushed my hair and stepped inside, while washing my hair I didnt notice James getting into the shower until he kissed my neck. We ended up doing it in the shower as well. Yer, we were like two horny rabbits.
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Post by mattass on May 25, 2006 21:56:49 GMT 1
That day we were going back to England to the others, so we ate breakfast and went outside for one hour before we went back to the hotel to pack. We werent ment to land in london before around 10 that night. And since it was just a few hours left til we were going to take off we packed our stuff and went to the airport. There we checked in and went to the gate, it was two hours til we were boarding so I cuddled up next to James and fell asleep. He woke me around 3.45 when we were boarding and I shot up taking my purse. "Already.. " I muttered and walked through the crowd to into the plane, some people looked at me and groaned in anger. I jusrigt gave them the finger and continued trying to get into the plane. "Oh fuck you.." I muttered as some mean old bat cursed at me. James was obviously amused by the whole thing. He fought his way through and laughed as he saw me get past some dude and give my ticket to the lady who was checking them. When we got back to England Dave, Matt and Brianna was waiting for us, Dave walked over and handed me her, giving her a kiss I smiled and giggled. Things were so awesome. James noticed it and smiled, when i glanced over at Matt he just smiled and mumbled: "It was so about damn time you did something man" "What?" I asked. "The bloke has loved you since he first layed eyes on you girl, and i can see he shagged you, sure as hell showes both ways" He answered. "Is that true?" I asked looking at James who now was finding a reason to pretend his phone was ringing. "Well. I mean.. Its like.. Its that... Well the thing is.. Okay, fuck, I`ve been crushing on you since I saw you there that night at the roof top" "Oh..." I mumbled. "Yeah.. Well since its a bit funny between us all.. lets get your luggage and you can talk or something back at the party.." Said Dave, somehow he was not mad for this with me and James. "What? Party?" Asked James. "Yeah, welcome home party... Danny wanted to party or something.." Said Matt taking Brianna, he kissed her head and she leaned on his shoulder rubbing her eyes. "You really got it dude" I said smiling.
3 months later- "Matt... I need to show you something..." I said and dragged him upstairs. Nothing had happened between me and James, than it had back in New york. Matt and i grew closer as friends at that time, he was comforting me. I needed drugs in every way and I needed alcohol. "What?" He asked and I shoved him into the bathroom. "This" I said. He glanced at the pregnancy test befor his eyes grew wider and he bursted out: "THATS FUCKING AMAZING" and hugged me. "Im so-rry... WHAT?" I shouted and looked at him. "Its James` right?" He asked. "Yer.. It is... but im not sure if i can have it... I am after all sick.. either way.. the baby or I could die during the birth" I mumbled, my eyes filling with tears. "Oh no.. I forgot about that... but... I think you should say something now... And then you and James go to the doctors office tomorrow morning and have a check and some guidance about what you could do.." I looked at him and smiled. He was right about that, James needed to know about it. And i did want to have this baby. "Yeah... Your right.. Thanks Matt.. Your a great friend" I answered kissing his cheek. "Anything for you love...Your amazing yourself... Now lets go tell my bestfriend he is going to be a father" "Alright..." I said and drew in a deep breath. Downstairs James was singing to some Backstreet boys song
James turned around. "Honey.. whats wrong?" He asked. "You all might as well know it.. sit down.." I said and stood infront of them. "Want some help?" Asked Matt. I nodded. "Alright.. you all know what happened between James and Tara in New york?" He asked. They all nodded, which made James turn bright red. "Well.. ehm.. you tell the rest..." Said Matt and took my hand. "Okey, Here it goes... -" I said and drew in a deep breath "James.... Im pregnant" I said and stood breathing, his eyes met mine and I saw the fear in his eyes. "I knew this wasnt going good" I said scared to death and flew out the door.
- James` House - -Dave - "TARA WAIT" Screamed James. "James... Let me talk to her... " I said and put my hand on his shoulder to stop him. "What? Why? Im the father... " Stated James. "But Dave knows her better than anyone of us... he can talk sense into her.... " Said Danny. "Alright..go... but where are you going to find her?" He asked. "The same place you found her... its her fave spot.." I answered and went out the door. When i got to the roof top of the hotel i saw her, standing by the end, letting her eyes flicker over the city. Her hair was put back flickering in the wind, I could hear her sob. As I reached her she turned around and I could see her eyes, they were dead... she really did love James. Funny how your heart breaks seeing her love someone else. But I know i have to let her go, she loves the right guy. Allthough she is dying. "You didnt see fear in his eyes love..." I said. "Then what?" She asked. "His love.... for you.... He is so in love with you Tara...And im glad he is..." "What?" "Im glad he found the right one to love.. allthough he is going to lose her... " "I love him to, he is my friend... and...." "You dont just love him as a friend, you love him more than that, you love him the way your supposed to ... you two are the ones that was ment to be..." "You cant be serious Dave.... Im dying, im fucking dying, im going to lose him.. I fucking love him so much that my heart is breaking and the fact that im pregnant with his kid it scares the shit out of me... " "He does to, and you just need to talk this through and it will be good, your ready to give this a shot, your both ready to do this, to step into the next level, have this baby, and your body can handle it... you have more than one year left..." Tara looked at me and i saw more tears pouring down her fave, i took a step forward and pulled her into a hug. "Tara...." Said someone, I turned around and saw James, he was standing by the stairs looking at us. His eyes giving me the same answer that i saw in Tara`s. "You two need to talk, you need to figure things out..." I said and walked over to the stairs to leave them alone.
- Matt -
I knew the right thing was to let James know about the baby, and i knew Dave was going to talk sense into Tara, she had been lost for so long. Now she had found what she had been looking for. Love. And in the right way she was going to find it. Even though it was running out the time she had on earth. Everything was just .... showing itself in the light it was supposed to. James loved her so much. I just hoped she wasnt going to die so soon. "Well i need to go.." I said and looked at the others. "Why?" Asked Chris. "I got a performance at top of the pops..." I mumbled. "Cool.. See you later then mate" Said Steve as he flicked his hair back. At top of the pops I was first up, I knew.... that Tara and James was back there now watching. I walked out on stage and stood by the mic.
(nickelback doesnt excist in this fic) "Its been a change of plans... Im not performing up all night.. I found a song in Tara`s room and here is Savin me"
Prison gates won`t open up for me On these hands and knees I`m crawlin` Oh, I reach for you Well I`m terrified of these four walls These iron bars can`t hold my soul in All i need is you Come please I`m callin` And oh I scream for you Hurry I`m fallin`, I`m fallin`
Show me what it`s like To be the last one standing And teach me wrong from right And I`ll show you what I can be Say it for me Say it for me And I`ll leave this life behind me Say it if it`s worth saving me
Heaven`s gates won`t open up for me With these broken wings I`m fallin` And all I see is you These city walls ain`t got no love for me I`m on the ledge of the eighteenth story And oh I scream for you Come please I`m callin And all I need from you Hurry I`m fallin`, I`m fallin`
Show me what it`s like To be the last one standing And teach me wrong from right And I`ll show you what I can be Say it for me Say it for me And I`ll leave this life behind me Say it if it`s worth saving me
Hurry I`m fallin`
All I need is you Come please I`m callin` And oh, I scream for you Hurry I`m callin`, I`m fallin`
Show me what it`s like To be the last one standing And teach me wrong from right And I`ll show you what I can be Say it for me Say it for me And I`ll leave this life behind me Say it if it`s worth saving me
Hurry I`m fallin`
"That was Matt Willis on number 8 with... Savin` me" Said Fearne.
- James - We had just gotten inside when the tv was pumped up and we heard Matt sing, Tara looked shocked. "He found the song... man.." She said walking into the living room. We saw Matt singing his heart out on top of the pops. "What is the song about?" Asked Dave. "You...." She answered.
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