Post by Renate on Sept 21, 2007 11:54:21 GMT 1
Title: Smell of Cherries
Author: Renate aka Dougielee (That's me!)
Disclaimer: Dette er mixa sammen i min lille, søte hjerne. Alt er bare fiksjon og jeg eier ikke noen av karakterene. (ikke Dougie en gang, uansett hvor mye jeg skulle ønske det..)
Warning: Remember, it's just a fic!
Smell of Cherries
Earlier I was one of the cool kids around. I was the girl everyone knew who was, the one everyone admired and adored. I was popular and had a lot of friends. Liked to hang out on the weekends. Liked to flirt with the boys, knowing they all wanted a chance to hook up with me.
But that was before I got raped.
Psychological shock state, that was what the doctor called it. I didn’t hang out with my friends anymore, didn’t talk to anyone, not even my mum. Every time I closed my eyes I could smell him. That sweet scent of cherries. I hated the fact that I liked his smell. No one who is able to do that to another person, be so cruel, can smell that good. I could still hear his voice as he kept calling me “sweet sugar”. I could still feel the way he made my body move, like he was leading in a dance. I couldn’t do anything to stop him. I couldn’t tell him that I didn’t feel like dancing. I was paralyzed.
Psychological shock state, yes the doctor was right. My mother made me report it, but since I never got a good look at him, the police hadn’t much to go on. They couldn’t catch a person based on how he smelled, they told me. So he was still out there. Maybe waiting for his next victim.
People told me how lucky I was, lucky to be alive. Yeah, just what I thought, looking in the mirror, staring at a person I once knew. I was only a shade of her, empty eyes telling nothing but a sad story. I wanted to cry. I often wished I could just sit down and let it all out, but nothing ever came. He had made me hole inside. It’s like my feelings have been frozen, and I need to find a way to melt them.
No matter how many showers I took, the dirt just wouldn’t come off. I didn’t let anyone in, I was afraid they would notice the dirt. But still I didn’t feel completely alone. I had my guys, those who had never let me down. McFly.
They had been an obsession of mine since the first time I saw them on a TV-show. Their music was always with me, I could every line of every song. They were the ones keeping me going. I felt as if they protected me against everything. But that night, they couldn’t stop him. My mp3-battery was flat.
Now, three months later my mum came up to my room, smiling. Said she had a surprise for me, something she hoped would make a difference. I didn’t believe anything could do that, so I just continued singing the tunes of Bubblewrap. Then right in front of me I could see them, two tickets to the McFly concert next weekend. Mum was holding them up, smiling even more now. There it came, the first tear since the “episode”. I hugged my mum, she cried. We both did. I could feel the iceberg melt, making room for Titanic to pass through.
The weekend came, and my mum and I loved the show. We sang along with all the songs, loud and pretty awful. I could see my mum was touched just by seeing me smile again. Our relationship had always been great, so shutting her out for months must have been terrible for her. But now we were here together, having the best day possible. It was great.
We were standing outside the arena, waiting for the guys. Us two and about a hundred other girls. All talking about the concert, smiling and singing. Then silence as a door slam open, before insanely screaming from everyone as we saw the guys step out. They wrote autographs like maniacs trying to give each fan some time. After half an hour they reached me and mum. Mum giggled as Tom gave her a hug. First Tom, then Danny and Dougie. This had to be the best day ever! But I was still waiting for my favourite, when I could smell something familiar, cherries, giving me shivers down my neck. I looked around, nothing. I was just imagining it. Again. I wouldn’t let anything ruin this day.
It was finally Harry’s turn to sign my shirt. He looked stunning and when he smiled, I thought I would pass out. “Enjoying the show?” He asked. I nodded and put on the biggest grin possible. “Good good, sweet sugar” he said and moved on.
Author: Renate aka Dougielee (That's me!)
Disclaimer: Dette er mixa sammen i min lille, søte hjerne. Alt er bare fiksjon og jeg eier ikke noen av karakterene. (ikke Dougie en gang, uansett hvor mye jeg skulle ønske det..)
Warning: Remember, it's just a fic!
Smell of Cherries
Earlier I was one of the cool kids around. I was the girl everyone knew who was, the one everyone admired and adored. I was popular and had a lot of friends. Liked to hang out on the weekends. Liked to flirt with the boys, knowing they all wanted a chance to hook up with me.
But that was before I got raped.
Psychological shock state, that was what the doctor called it. I didn’t hang out with my friends anymore, didn’t talk to anyone, not even my mum. Every time I closed my eyes I could smell him. That sweet scent of cherries. I hated the fact that I liked his smell. No one who is able to do that to another person, be so cruel, can smell that good. I could still hear his voice as he kept calling me “sweet sugar”. I could still feel the way he made my body move, like he was leading in a dance. I couldn’t do anything to stop him. I couldn’t tell him that I didn’t feel like dancing. I was paralyzed.
Psychological shock state, yes the doctor was right. My mother made me report it, but since I never got a good look at him, the police hadn’t much to go on. They couldn’t catch a person based on how he smelled, they told me. So he was still out there. Maybe waiting for his next victim.
People told me how lucky I was, lucky to be alive. Yeah, just what I thought, looking in the mirror, staring at a person I once knew. I was only a shade of her, empty eyes telling nothing but a sad story. I wanted to cry. I often wished I could just sit down and let it all out, but nothing ever came. He had made me hole inside. It’s like my feelings have been frozen, and I need to find a way to melt them.
No matter how many showers I took, the dirt just wouldn’t come off. I didn’t let anyone in, I was afraid they would notice the dirt. But still I didn’t feel completely alone. I had my guys, those who had never let me down. McFly.
They had been an obsession of mine since the first time I saw them on a TV-show. Their music was always with me, I could every line of every song. They were the ones keeping me going. I felt as if they protected me against everything. But that night, they couldn’t stop him. My mp3-battery was flat.
Now, three months later my mum came up to my room, smiling. Said she had a surprise for me, something she hoped would make a difference. I didn’t believe anything could do that, so I just continued singing the tunes of Bubblewrap. Then right in front of me I could see them, two tickets to the McFly concert next weekend. Mum was holding them up, smiling even more now. There it came, the first tear since the “episode”. I hugged my mum, she cried. We both did. I could feel the iceberg melt, making room for Titanic to pass through.
The weekend came, and my mum and I loved the show. We sang along with all the songs, loud and pretty awful. I could see my mum was touched just by seeing me smile again. Our relationship had always been great, so shutting her out for months must have been terrible for her. But now we were here together, having the best day possible. It was great.
We were standing outside the arena, waiting for the guys. Us two and about a hundred other girls. All talking about the concert, smiling and singing. Then silence as a door slam open, before insanely screaming from everyone as we saw the guys step out. They wrote autographs like maniacs trying to give each fan some time. After half an hour they reached me and mum. Mum giggled as Tom gave her a hug. First Tom, then Danny and Dougie. This had to be the best day ever! But I was still waiting for my favourite, when I could smell something familiar, cherries, giving me shivers down my neck. I looked around, nothing. I was just imagining it. Again. I wouldn’t let anything ruin this day.
It was finally Harry’s turn to sign my shirt. He looked stunning and when he smiled, I thought I would pass out. “Enjoying the show?” He asked. I nodded and put on the biggest grin possible. “Good good, sweet sugar” he said and moved on.